The Darkest Harmony
Phone Call
*Sequel to Happy Birthday. Joker/Batman.
The Joker was ecstatic. After all, who wouldn't be when Bruce Wayne - aka The Batman - was actually terrified that he got a present from the Joker?
Oh, the fear in the city of Gotham when it was on the news! Millionaire Bruce Wayne gets a birthday present from criminal mastermind nicknamed 'the Joker'. The newspapers the next day made the Joker smile and his new henchman - he had 'accidentally' killed the last one… they tend to drop like flies - had shivered when the Joker had started talking about the weather.
Now it was two days after Bruce's birthday and the Joker wanted to know how his little kitten was doing. After all, kittens had to be well-cared for.
Picking up a phone from a table, the Joker called up one of his old friends - a man he dubbed 'the Operator'. 'The Operator' knew every single number in the world, but that was mostly because he had access to FBI files.
"I need Bruce Wayne's number." The Joker said. He heard typing on the other end of the line and smiled darkly, watching a commercial on his television about health insurance.
Ten minutes later he was walking around one of his many warehouses, trying to get some reception.
"Stupid phone…" The Joker mumbled, dialing the number again. It had begun to ring finally so the Joker stopped where he was, trying to keep what ever little signal he could get.
"This is Wayne." The Joker sniggered, very happy that he had gotten directly to Bruce.
"Hello, Bruce." The Joker said causally as if they had known each other for years. He heard Bruce gasp and imagined his face - a mix of horror, confusion, and possibly even anger.
"Joker… what do you want?" Bruce asked. It wasn't all throaty and strange as his 'Batman' voice, which only made the Joker laugh louder.
"What's so funny?" Bruce demanded. The Joker almost keeled over from laughter.
"Oh, nothing, Brucie." The Joker said, a twisted expression on his face. "It's just… well, that funny voice you have when you're the Batman… why?"
"What does it matter to you?" Bruce asked.
"Oh, I'm just curious... I think you may need some help. It could be the result of a traumatic-" The Joker knew he had struck a nerve.
"You know very well about my past - everybody fucking does." Bruce snapped at him. The Joker just laughed, but it wasn't one Bruce had heard before - it was emptier than the others.
"And if you knew more about mine you might know how to defeat me." The Joker said, a smile - one that wasn't permanent - on his face.
"I know what happened - you went crazy, you became more crazy, now you're a lunatic." Bruce said, sounding smug. The Joker frowned.
"I'm not crazy - you just don't know intelligence when you see it." The Joker said and this time it was Bruce's turn to laugh.
"I don't have time for this." Bruce said.
"Wait, wait, wait." The Joker said. He continued when there was no beeping sound of the call ending. "I'll see you at the school." He hung up, wondering with immense glee at what Bruce's face would look like.
He'd either show up as the Batman, or think he was just 'insane' - which he was not - and either way, he'd kill some children.
Then he realized with a frown that he hadn't asked Bruce about the kitten.
Bruce Wayne stared at his phone in confusion. There were three things on his mind: what did he mean by 'I'll see you at the school'; how did he get his number; and why did the conversation seem to go so… dare he say, smoothly?
Well, as smoothly as a conversation between a vigilante and a mass murderer could be.
The Joker was ecstatic. After all, who wouldn't be when Bruce Wayne - aka The Batman - was actually terrified that he got a present from the Joker?
Oh, the fear in the city of Gotham when it was on the news! Millionaire Bruce Wayne gets a birthday present from criminal mastermind nicknamed 'the Joker'. The newspapers the next day made the Joker smile and his new henchman - he had 'accidentally' killed the last one… they tend to drop like flies - had shivered when the Joker had started talking about the weather.
Now it was two days after Bruce's birthday and the Joker wanted to know how his little kitten was doing. After all, kittens had to be well-cared for.
Picking up a phone from a table, the Joker called up one of his old friends - a man he dubbed 'the Operator'. 'The Operator' knew every single number in the world, but that was mostly because he had access to FBI files.
"I need Bruce Wayne's number." The Joker said. He heard typing on the other end of the line and smiled darkly, watching a commercial on his television about health insurance.
Ten minutes later he was walking around one of his many warehouses, trying to get some reception.
"Stupid phone…" The Joker mumbled, dialing the number again. It had begun to ring finally so the Joker stopped where he was, trying to keep what ever little signal he could get.
"This is Wayne." The Joker sniggered, very happy that he had gotten directly to Bruce.
"Hello, Bruce." The Joker said causally as if they had known each other for years. He heard Bruce gasp and imagined his face - a mix of horror, confusion, and possibly even anger.
"Joker… what do you want?" Bruce asked. It wasn't all throaty and strange as his 'Batman' voice, which only made the Joker laugh louder.
"What's so funny?" Bruce demanded. The Joker almost keeled over from laughter.
"Oh, nothing, Brucie." The Joker said, a twisted expression on his face. "It's just… well, that funny voice you have when you're the Batman… why?"
"What does it matter to you?" Bruce asked.
"Oh, I'm just curious... I think you may need some help. It could be the result of a traumatic-" The Joker knew he had struck a nerve.
"You know very well about my past - everybody fucking does." Bruce snapped at him. The Joker just laughed, but it wasn't one Bruce had heard before - it was emptier than the others.
"And if you knew more about mine you might know how to defeat me." The Joker said, a smile - one that wasn't permanent - on his face.
"I know what happened - you went crazy, you became more crazy, now you're a lunatic." Bruce said, sounding smug. The Joker frowned.
"I'm not crazy - you just don't know intelligence when you see it." The Joker said and this time it was Bruce's turn to laugh.
"I don't have time for this." Bruce said.
"Wait, wait, wait." The Joker said. He continued when there was no beeping sound of the call ending. "I'll see you at the school." He hung up, wondering with immense glee at what Bruce's face would look like.
He'd either show up as the Batman, or think he was just 'insane' - which he was not - and either way, he'd kill some children.
Then he realized with a frown that he hadn't asked Bruce about the kitten.
Bruce Wayne stared at his phone in confusion. There were three things on his mind: what did he mean by 'I'll see you at the school'; how did he get his number; and why did the conversation seem to go so… dare he say, smoothly?
Well, as smoothly as a conversation between a vigilante and a mass murderer could be.
